Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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