My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
