Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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