You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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