yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Send help, water and tortillas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
