So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
