The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have tasted many bathrooms
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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