My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
