whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
