i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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