i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
