worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
