Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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