Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize