I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
