I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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