god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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