Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
