he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
