I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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