i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am naked and annoyed.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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