Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
