Sponge bath it is.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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