Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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