I think my fart just growled at me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
