Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
