I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
