ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
