We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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