That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
