Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
