We got so high we made milksteak
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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