I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
