whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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