I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
