Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize