Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize