I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
