you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
