There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So squirting runs in the family.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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