You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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