no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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