Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
