She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize