Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize