I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
