they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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