can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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