We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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