At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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