forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
