seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
