They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize