are you still at the devil's house?
Sry I called you an 8
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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