Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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