are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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