And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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