Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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